HW 57

Part 1

I believe that parenting has no guidebook, or shouldn't have a guidebook to say the least. Everyone is supposedly brought up differently in certain aspects or another, which constructs the individual's future as a person. Its something I would like to get off my chest before I go any further into the topic or "parenting". Though I do certainly have ideal ways of parenting.

Everything needs balance and I believe it is the hardest thing to truly have, but in parenting I feel that it is vital. One thing I want so see more often from parents today is trust towards their kids. No matter how much they are the kid's parents, the period in which they should have "ownership" over them ends quite earlier than 18 even though legally they have responsibility. Letting their kids go is the hardest part, and is something I've experienced as a child. Ever since middle school my parents gave me freedom to make my own decisions and never hovered over me, but occasionally checked up on me.

A big factor is "space" that needs to be given to kids starting at a certain age. I've heard many cases where the parents attempt to control how their child routes their own lives, but that’s nothing more than owning a puppet. A big part of our lives is becoming a strong individual and the only way to learn is trial and error, since life is never explained in a textbook. Giving space also reassures the kid that they are being trusted, though most cases the parents are worried all the time this is where they should hold back a bit until the kid does something extreme.

I feel like parenting is a very emotional process that alternates constantly. Keeping a strong policy in parenting is probably the key to being a good parent, as long as the policies don't consist of anything extremely outrageous, but the variety of parenting is what creates the variety in people.

Part II

The article "When Parenting Theories Backfire" displays the adaptive nature of children, or people. The freedom of choice is very important in a child's life since it gives them a chance to understand the meaning of consequences and the differentiation of right and wrong. Also being too overprotective over your child will cause them to live life according to the parent, where their opinion is never really heard therefore causing many problems in the near future. I found it interesting and humorous that the kids learned to utilize their mom's strategy in order to manipulate her back. I guess it just shows that balancing out freedom and rules is the only way to keep kids strong but happy. Quite a complex thing to do.

The article "Understanding The Continuum Concept" shows the flaws in western child-care practices. Concepts such as maximum physical contact with the child or acting according to the signs that are shown by the infant are not seen in many cases. They also state that when the baby cries some parents show very immense attention towards the baby making them the center of attention, I feel like though it states that this reaction is not the best for the baby it is the case for new parents who are overjoyed by the fact of having a kid. The article proves one point, but pretty much states the same for other extremes which seems a bit absurd. I'm unsure whether they are trying to tell parents to act casual while nurturing a baby. This obviously won't be a case for most, since having a baby is not a situation that can be dealt with casually.

HW 56

1. Do you feel that you spend more time with your true friends than your "other" friends?
2. What do you think sets the boarder between real friendship and somewhat fake friendships?
3. Do you believe some friends are more significant than others? If so, how?

Shimon(brother)
1. For me personally I feel like all my friends that I have now are true friends. I never split them up in terms of how much I value them cause they all mean something to me. I obviously havent felt like this all my life, but recently I feel that everyone around me who care for me are true friends. But to answer your question, I obviously spend more time with some people as to others, but its mainly due to where they live or their daily schedules, but I don't feel that it really makes a difference.
2. Honestly, I feel that most of those relationships are formed during school. Since kids are crammed inside a building where there's a community of others around the same age group people will have to lose their true self in order to "survive". I feel that fake friendships form through insecurity. It makes people feel better when they have more friends and obviously looks better as well. But later on you learn that quality of the friend is what counts the most.
3. I don't want to sound harsh, but I definitely do. Some of them have stayed with me during horrible times, while others just didn't have the option to since they were far away. But a lot of them put in the effort whether its through the phone or by a text message, and I really appreciate that.
Co-worker
1. No, I actually feel like I spend less time with true friends. Mainly because they are not as accessible to me, but its great to see them once in a while.
2. I think people like socializing and bonding, and the more people you can bond with the more fun they have everyday. It truly is a great feel when you can bond with one another for hours straight, but most conversations are stupid and shallow. If you can really open up and accept one another for who they are, that's when true friendship starts.
3. True friends obviously are more significant!
Gary at the park
1. I never was a very social person. I didn't have many friends throughout my childhood, but it made everyone I finally became friends with a "true" friend. Though they were only a handful, I've been friends with some of them for over 15 years now, so I don't really know much about "fake" friendships.
2. I guess it has a lot to do with how people are viewed from the outside. If someone looks cool, people will try to be with them to make them look better, and during that process, they will subconsciously change who they are to fit in. Its very sad.
3. All friends are significant one way or another, but yes some have a bigger impact on my life than others. But if I think about it more, they all have something contribute to my life, so no they are all the same. Mixing them all together is what creates friendship and its significance.

I really appreciate the variety I was able to grasp during the interviews. I feel like I got many perspectives from the three people. 2 out of the 3 stated something about being young and in school that factors into finding friendship, which i find to be interesting. I do believe that being in school really affects who kids become or try to become and their surroundings. Its like finding yourself through finding others.

What percent of your friends are "true" friends?

HW 55

Question: What are the factors that contribute to the segregation of friends and acquaintances between peers?

Matt S: I think your question is something we should all ask ourselves. I've been told before that you cannot learn to love someone until you learn to love yourself. Its one of my favorite quotes. I think the question itself is deep enough and wouldn't need any additions.

Revised Question: How does the quantity of time spent between peers factor and contribute to the segregation of friendship and acquaintances?

HW 54

I personally favor multiple choice surveys such as the Jung test where the options are scale based. I like options, and the possibility to pick something in the middle when im uncertain. The results I got seemed a bit off, but some portions were spot on. I got the feeling that the test can give you a brief insight into your own self, and though somethings won't stand out to you as much in everyday situations, the result revealed a truth that you later on accept.

The usefulness of the test can vary depending on how honest you really are. Though the tests are completely anonymous, I feel that some people are subconsciously insecure to the point where they will even lie to the survey to get idealistic results which makes them feel better about themselves. Though complete honesty might not give you an 100% accurate result, a majority of the stuff written in the results should have some connection to your personality.

I don't think there is a difference in what people favor in relationships. There are much more small but significant factors that create the relationship, though I can't list any I believe they are in effect whether you like the difference or the similarities.

Hw 51

School is much more than meets the eye, at least for the students that attend it. Going through it almost all your life, obviously the negative aspects of school start to overwhelm even the feeling of being educated or socializing. It becomes a daily routine that we do not necessarily favor; we would rather be at home sleeping at 8:30 in the morning. But the thing we don't realize until later on in life is how ever school day is like boot camp for life. The planning of schedules everyday and being trained to set goals and the skill to motivate you to achieve success. The significance of school is merely in the lectures or text books given in class, but the process of becoming an educated individual going to school.

Success in school does not guarantee success in the business world which seems ironic since they are training us to succeed. The kids that exceed in school are not always the smartest, they may be one of the most motivated students, but that motivation can come from anywhere. Factors such as family abuse due to bad grades or a possible threat who knows? Grades are not numbers that represent how intellectual a student is, it only calculates how good they are at following orders and completing objectives. Those kids may be more efficient in a company as an employee, while the other student who likes to do things as he wants to and succeed in his own aspects might be more suited to become an independent worker receive orders from no one but himself. It displays personality and work habits.

One big aspect that is taught in school is individualism. School saves us from getting no where in life and helps us find passion in ourselves. Like Obama's speech about school and its significance in our lives. School is not there to determine who is smart or stupid, it is there for all students to find their passion for things and interest that they may take up in their future. It saves students from being troubled with "beginning" to pursuit their dreams by giving options that are spread into individual classes. Everyone must have a starting point to finding out what interest them and school gives kids the motivation and allows us to explore ourselves over the years so we are somewhat prepared to pick classes in college after finding out more about ourselves.

Though one big flaw in the schooling system is the identification of learning disorders that are placed upon students who seem to have symptoms of the many learning disabilities. They are usually attended differently based on how minor or major they seem to be, but many are not even sure whether these disabilities are even real. Though schools are "not" meant to label who is smart or stupid, we still label students with mythical disorders that affect their experience at school. I feel that it is truly unnecessary to alert kids of these negativities that might make them believe in restrictions and limits that might make them more insecure. If the kids with ADD are able to be in the same class room as a normal kid, what difference does it make for the student that has ADD? Until the difference is vast and extremely noticeable, I believe the labeling of learning disabilities work only as a placebo for students.

Over the years there has been a gradual change in the education system from the traditional to the new age hippie teachers that try to incorporate themselves in the classroom with the kids. I strongly believe as a consumer of this new education that it is a big significant leap for future educations. School should not all be about discipline and respecting of authority, but a workout for your brain, and the perfect way is to focus on the habits of mind. To bend your mind into all different directions are a skill that is required for many occupations, and this does not mean logical thinking. It means thinking outside the box to incorporate alternative views and to kill your ego by considering other perspectives. This is much harder for some than others because many of us students are stubborn when it comes to personal opinions and ideas, and have a hard time allowing other possibilities access into our realities.

HW 53

Part II

It felt like I was revealing a whole lot about myself, but it was much easier than speaking to someone face to face, and there was also the security of being able to express yourself anonymously. The main questions that I had to stop and think about were the questions that asked your personal feelings and affections towards certain individuals or groups, cause you are rarely ever asked questions that require your true feelings on friendship or family because the people who you talk to are mainly either friends or family.

Also sharing personal info of my current life seemed to halt me for quite a bit, since there are so many things that I would not want to express or have known by the world, expressing feelings takes time to get used to but when it is placed in survey format you are given options which actually made it much easier for me. There was no need to go into depth.

HW 52

I believe that companionship and building bonds and connections to one another is a survival skill that we must of inhabited. Even to this day, fame creates power and are often looked up to as the top of the food chain. Even under various social circumstances for example school, film industry, at work, etc. Being able to communicate to numerous people and gaining respect or admiration makes it much easier to cultivate comfortable social settings. People live off other people, as much as some of us thrive to be "independent" without external motivations and support, we become much weaker.

Especially in our society where religion is a great factor in many things, I find the concept of right and wrong to be quite overrated. Common sense and feelings as to ideas are much more honest and should be considered good, but in most cases they are not. Every country is enforced by some sort of religion that molds the culture and society. The United States is a mainly Christian nation and often use god as a reference. Therefore we have a clear view of what is righteous and what is not. Do we? No even what is said in the bible has numerous contradictions and can be seen through alternative perspectives.

Some such as the Ku Klux Klan basically see Jesus as a white supremacist, while other people may see Jesus through a different light. Christianity is the main religion in Korea, and they are most definitely not white supremacists. Though I'm sure religion was first made by humans to stabilize sanity, and an easier alternative to science. It also makes things much more difficult since there always are extremists who enforce religion on others causing conflicts. Religion can cause wars and misunderstandings amongst various cultures, but we still try to stand for it. Why?

I always were fascinated by how diverse the human species is compared to other animal forms. Most animals have animalistic instincts that they live by, but we live through cultivating large communities of diverse individuals. Each with their own lives, but we still find a way to reproduce without much struggle. It seems like our survival skills that we first lived inhabiting no longer has any effect in our life, but subconsciously it may be the reasoning to our decisions. Like the thing we call love, it may be nothing more than an evolved version of the instinct to reproduce a more complex version. We may be looking for passion or warmth through love, but they are not much more than hooks and baits to make us want to make babies.

On the other hand there is also sexual pleasure and motivation without any intentions to make babies, which is the case for most at young ages. What might this signify? Which animalistic instinct lead us to feel pleasure from sex? I believe that connections we make through our lives connect deeply to standards of survival as the top of the food chain. There is a deeper significance to why we love, why we make friends, why we hunger for power.